Many years ago I ran a local networking organization in the Los
Angeles area. After leaving behind my Corporate job, I craved being
around people.
I found myself getting involved in a lot of different
associations, networking groups and charities all with the desire to
create connections with other movers and shakers in my community.
I loved the connections I made but having to go to a meeting once
a month proved too much of a commitment for this freedom-seeking gal.
I left behind local networking groups and started attending live
events where education and training for entrepreneurs took place. I
loved the energy at live events and began to seek out opportunities to
attend and speak (which by the way, living in Los Angeles aren’t that
hard to find as at least 2 – 3 events occur every week in conference
season.)
After a while I realized that some of these networking opportunities
would leave me exhausted while others would fuel my soul. Seemingly very
similar, I couldn’t quite grasp what contributed to the exhaustion.
Then it hit me. Some of these events I establish real connections
where others I feel like I have to “pitch” something to someone in order
to fit the theme of the event. I had to abandon my magic and I felt
like a lost bunny in the lion den. I don’t pitch – I connect – and even
after 10 years in this business I still have no idea how to do a
succinct 30 second elevator speed! No wonder I felt depleted.
One of the events I attend every year is for very high level speakers
and authors. A highlight at the event is called “Speed Networking.” The
first year I went I was completely exhausted after this segment and
felt a complete sense of “less than” energy from the group. I distinctly
remember feeling that even though this was a significant group of
players in the industry, this was not an event that was worth my time
because I wasn’t experiencing my usual magic.
This year the same thing happened. And it finally dawned on me what was happening.
I’m a connector and I’m not proficient (yet) at building a connection
with someone in 30 seconds. And truthfully, this event for me is more
about learning and growing than it probably will be about making deals
and getting new clients!
I instantly made a shift in how I participated in that event. I
stopped doing the speed networking and started connecting. The result? I
left having created a few very significant new relationships, and the
realization that I’d rather have a handful of quality relationships that
will actually produce results than hundreds of business cards from
people who could care less.
If I distill my connection process down into steps, here are three tips that can make an instant difference in your results:
1. Lead with Your Magic
When you show up at an event, the very first thing you must do is
crank up your inner and outer magic. It starts with what happens inside
your head. If you are new, are going through a change in your business
and aren’t certain how to communicate it yet, or had a significant
financial set back and are feeling low, this is crucial. You must get
connected to your magic so you can emanate an attractive energy. You may
want to meditate or go for a walk and remind yourself of all the
amazing gifts you have to give.
Or write out a catchy way to let people know what problems you help
solve. Remember it all starts inside. Then, as my friend Joel Bauer
says, you must wrap your package (aka what you wear) to be in alignment
with your magic.
I’ve often been told that when I walk in a room people notice because
I am confident, I wear clothes that catch attention – appropriately –
and I smile a lot. I lead with my magic so it makes people want to
approach me. Try it…you’ll notice a huge difference.
2. Connect First, Educate Second
Many years ago my good friend Adam Urbanski gave me a tip in
networking situations that has served me quite well. Listen first, find
out what people need/want, then educate them on what you do that solves
their problem. So many times I watch well-meaning business owners
“accost” the person they are speaking to with their agenda and never
really take the time to get to know what their needs.
Building a real connection creates a reason to continue the
transaction beyond that first meeting. If someone feels pitched too they
will most likely rebuff your attempts to connect after the event. But
when someone feels that you have truly connected and can help them SOLVE
their pain, they will be attracted to you and open to furthering the
dialogue.
3. Wow With Follow Up
Remember the 80/20 rule? Well it works with the connections you make
at live events. Know that the meeting and exchanging of contact
information is that sweet “20%”. But what you do in the 80% afterward is
where the traction happens.
Let me first be very clear about what you DON’T want to do: just
stick someone on your list and forget about them. This just screams YOU
ARE JUST A LEAD!
Depending on the level of connection, I recommend you pick up the
phone or send a personalized card. You can follow up by email and share
with them a resource (we often will send our new friends a copy of the
101 Ways to Triple your Income and Time Off Tool) or an article that may
be appealing.
If you are really savvy, you’ll continue to connect with them via a
series of automated emails or mailings (we use Send Out Cards to send a
series of postcards). Then the next time you meet, you will stick out in
their mind with “wow” I remember them!
I’d love to hear any of your tips on how to go from “pitching” to
connecting. I’m sure we can all benefit from ways to experience more of
our magic as we meet new people. Post them in the comments below.
